Swiss Life calling!
German conservative newspaper FAZ reports that Swiss Life has contacted Uwe today after his disasterous conference for the first time.
Here is what Swiss Life Uwe told:
Hi there, is there the big opera singer speaking?
Yes, he is. Old alphornblowers, what can I do for you?
Ha, ha, please don’t do anything for us. Insurance business is for professionals, isn’t it?
Ah, …
So we just want to congratulate for lifting the shareholder value again! How are you able to make belief that anybody would be interested in buying your shop?
Oh, we have our methods .. It’s not singing, hahaha!
Okay, but Uwe, do us a favour: Please stop using our firm’s good name in this silly game! When spreading rumors, please rely on Postbank, AXA, Deutsche Bank, whatsoever, okay? We don’t want to be seen next to loosers. Y’understand?
Uhm, why should I?
Come on, Uwe! Be a nice guy! We both know that you will need a new job this year when MLP is going to implode finally. In case you want to sell insurances door to door as a financial adviser, we could ask if Maschi will employ you. Think about it!
Hm, thanks, but I got an offer by a chinese opera already, so let’s stay friends. The next time we will spread rumors about being taken over by ALDI!
Great Uwe, we are talking on the same frequency. If you ever visit Geneva, please contact me and we can eat a cheese or a chocolate together!
Y’are welcome! Bye!
Grüezi!
Picture taken by Wirtschaftwoche in fair use.